Homemaking

Homemaking: The art of removing all evidence that anyone lives in your house.

I just did a crazy thing sitting here at my computer. I looked around the mess I'm sitting in and decided not to be annoyed by it.
I did that and I realized that it's not so bad to have all these little messes around me because it means that I have a family and we live here. Here are some things I see.

Emma's scriptures are on the couch from reading this morning.

The shipping box for the caterpillars we will be watching grow into butterflies.

The secret BBQ seasoning from our very good friends, the Hills.

The cooler from packing our lunch on Thursday when we went to Seattle to "Ride the Duck." A great time was had by all.

At least half a dozen various notes and crayon drawings done especially for Mom hung all over the place.

A set of unfinished Matroyshka dolls we will be painting, in which one is already stuck inside another from being put in upside down.

The phone off the hook from talking to friends.

Plastic Easter eggs. (Holy cow! What are those still doing out?)

Cub Scout uniform. (What good boys and great leaders there are in Scouts with Ethan.)

Jacob's Science Notebook. He's always pulling it out wanting to do the next thing.

Conference DVDs from Family Home Evening.

An overflowing library book bin. We have a great rolling crate for library books because we check out no less than 50 at a time.

Notebook paper on the floor with "I will not bicker with my brother" written on it 2o times.

A brush and hairspray from putting Emma's hair in a bun for ballet. Her recital's coming up soon.

The keyboard from doing piano lessons.

Grape stems (When did we have grapes?)

These aren't such bad things to have in my life.

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

"The grand and the simple. They are equally wonderful."

Marjorie Pay Hinckley

On Living with the Same Man for 14 Years

I've been watching a lot of Romantic Comedies lately. "A lot" meaning two. That's a lot for me. It's not my genre of choice and after watching those two, my opinion is perhaps even more sure than before. This means that next year I will only watch ONE RoCo.

I do get a sort of detached pleasure from watching Hollywood ideas of love and romance and comparing it to my own experience. And I like laughing at how manipulative they are.

Schmaltzy Movie #1: The Holiday. A lovely little film in which a cold, ambitious, self-absorbed woman goes to a cute English cottage alone, in stumbles a charming, very smoldery English man complete with lovely accent and much hanky panky ensues. Our willingness to accept this liaison corresponds directly with the considerable attractiveness of the two involved, and the assurance that this is kind of thing is most certainly out of the ordinary.

In scene two we find out that smoldery man is actually a devoted single dad to two darling little girls complete with lacy tent, even better, he's a widower, not a divorcee, who cries. Awww!

Here's the thing I found interesting. If we had known he was actually a father before sleeping with a strange woman in a drunken stupor, all the women would have booed and hissed and thrown rotten vegetables at the screen. Hmm, says I.

Schmaltzy Movie #2: The Proposal. A not so lovely little film in which a cold, ambitious, self-absorbed woman fakes an engagement to her charming, very smoldery nicety-nice assistant who also just happens to be secretly uber-wealthy. He, of course, is able to see past all of her issues, selfishness, dishonesty, and general bitterness, and fall desperately love with her anyway.

These are the most barfingest of plots. Very handsome, charming, wealthy, girly man falls in love with angry, ahem, witch with issues, who's only redeeming quality is her flat stomach. And for this, we all wish we could be her. What does this really tell women? Don't even get me started on Twilight.

I know a lot of ladies watch movies like these with their husbands to feel romantic, or get in the mood, or whatever. That's okay. These movies help my marriage, too. Primarily, because I am so grateful not to be deluded into believing that those are the definitions of love. That that tripe is what romance looks like. I am always more grateful for the love of my life and the marriage we share after seeing a cheap Hollywood counterfeit. It is so very different from the real, unselfish, devoted, passionate, absolutely fulfilling relationship we have shared these past 14 years, and I'm grateful for it.

It's a good anniversary.

Tacoma Museum of Glass

The Museum of Glass in Tacoma has a kids design exhibit and Jacob submitted a design to be sculpted in glass.

He needs votes to win. Whichever gets the most votes will be sculpted in glass and put on display in the museum. How cool is that?

Here's what you do. Go to www.museumofglass.org and click on PICK YOUR FAVORITE.

Jacob's is obviously the best design. The FLYING TURTLE. Please vote. He is so excited!

ps...you do have to register. Just a quick email input. I have a regular junk email address for this type of stuff! Thanks!

Pupcakes

4 is good.

I am 4, then I will be 5, then 6!

Pupcakes, please.

CHOCOLATE pupcakes, please.

Charlie and Lola chocolate pupcakes, please.

Thank you for my burfday!

Happy birthday, Lily Jane!

School links I need to make a note of real quick...

subscription sites

www.pianomarvel.com : Piano/Guitar/Drum lessons for $12 a month. I like it.

www.vmathlive.com : Competition math for Ethan also www.mathletics.com

www.brainpop.com : another fun site

www.readingeggs.com : Early reading skills for preschoolers

www.dreambox.com : LOVE these progressive math activities

www.spellingcity.com : haven't used this one so much yet.

other stuff

http://www.cricketmag.com : great magazine publisher

...hmm, what else, I can't remember them all now...

and now for some TALENTED PEOPLE I know:

Debi Reeves

Homeschooling is Hard

I know you don't believe me, but it really is difficult. I know I make it look so easy with my spotless house and impeccable wardrobe, as well as the well-behaved tidy children that line up behind me wiping their own noses and putting themselves in time-out.

My home is a pillar of organization, creativity, harmony, and inspired learning all appropriately scheduled out into sections throughout the day. I impart a 'thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages'...Miss Bingley was slightly more full of it than I am at the moment. What a wonderful piece of literature to so deftly and timelessly define "the accomplished woman" myth and the egotists who perpetuate it. I digress.

As often as I think I am failing in this enterprise once in a while I get a glimmer of evidence that I am not a complete derelict...alright I am being a little harsh about feeling completely derelict and only seeing glimmers of evidence, but those feelings of inadequacy and heavy responsibility do come on a fairly regular basis so glimmers, sparkles, and lightbulbs are moments to embrace. Exempli gratia:

On the way to basketball I was quizzing Ethan on some percentage/fraction/decimal conversions when he brings up the fact that public schools don't teach any History and what a travesty that is, in his humble opinion.

"Why don't they teach any History?" he asks, "I know there's some US History in high school but what about the little kids?"

So, because I'm a homeschooling parent, I almost never answer such a question but ask another, "Why would it matter that they know History? Why is it important to know anything about Hammurabi, or Babur, or Alexander when they lived so long ago? Is it important?"

"That's a good question." Thoughtful silence. Then after a moment,

"Well, those who understand the past are better prepared for the future. So if we know what happened in wars and things hundreds of years ago, we don't have to have those same wars again, because it could just happen all over again. Because there were a lot of dumb wars. And we could just forget a lot of things, like discoveries and languages."

Brilliant.

Lily's Brain III

EEG results go something like this:

The doctor says: This is what normal brain waves look like.

...and this...is what Lily's look like.

In case you couldn't tell, the two pictures didn't look anything alike. The good news is that she is developing properly and thriving. The bad news is that the question is WHEN the next seizure will come, not IF. So now we have a lot of prescriptions for drugs with some horrid possible side effects that we really don't want to give her. We need to make a decision on whether we want to start her on drugs right away or wait until the next seizure. We just don't know.

She will be getting an MRI within the next few weeks which will be checking for abnormalities, malformations, or the slim possibility of tumors. So, the best we are hoping for right now is a clean MRI and then we can get a better idea of what we want to do as far as medication. That's all we can do right now.

Oh, most of her unusually active brain activity occurs while she is sleeping so her seizures are most likely going to happen when she is asleep. Good news: That's a nice safe place for a seizure to happen. Bad news: We'll all be sleeping...or trying to anyway.

just a couple cuties

Lily's Brain (continued)

The girl has been perfect and healthy and acting completely normally. It has taken us a little while to sleep somewhat without thinking she is having another seizure every time she rolls over, but we are adjusting. We just can't do that. We have gotten more comfortable with the situation in which we now find ourselves. We are feeling more and more like this was a one time thing.

Yesterday, Lily had her EEG which measures her brain activity. It was a two hour test in which she and her parents were required to be sleep deprived so she could fall asleep halfway through. I kept her up past 11:00 Monday night and we got her up around 4:30 the next morning. She watched a lot of cartoons. Her appointment was not till 1:00 so we tried to keep her relatively happy but awake all morning. She did really well. No meltdowns if you can believe it. I guess she was just in shock that she was watching so many movies.

The test started with applying dozens of electrodes on her scalp. It took about 20 minutes of measuring, marking, sticking, and wrapping. She was really loopy from her lack of sleep. She tends to get loopy rather than cranky. She was very giggly, but held pretty still making random comments. "What is he doing?" "I look like transfo-mer!" After all the electrodes were applied, Tom laid down next to her, the tech went to his computer and Lily had to do little things like open and close her eyes, blow bubbles ("I'm blown' dem to the doctor!"), and watching flashing lights. She was still giggly. Then she had to relax and take a twenty minute nap.

Test done. Peel off all the stickies. "You said it wouldn't hurt!" yes, she was upset with me about that one but she admitted, "It on'y hurt a little bid." Wash off all the grease pencil and head to the other hospital campus to meet with the doctor.

As an aside, allow me to gripe about the utopia we know as Seattle. Ten bucks for parking at Swedish Medical - Cherry Hill Campus in the garage then another eight dollars at the First Hill Campus for the appointment with the neurologist. Bad enough but there is some law in Seattle that requires all parking garages to have only 50% of their spaces to be large enough to park an actual car in it. If there is space for two cars to park, they will mark it for three, therefore rendering usable for only ONE. They are marked COMPACT, of course, but you would think our Civic would fit into that category. Good thing we didn't have our van. I don't know what people do. This was a PEDIATRIC office we were going to so we must assume that people with children would need to park a vehicle in that office's parking garage. People with children do not drive Smart Cars or motorbikes. Conclusion: Seattle does not like children or the vehicles that carry them.

Test results will have to wait till tomorrow. I'm still sleepy.

Lily's Brain

Early Sunday morning, Lily happened to be in our bed (not such a strange thing at 3 am) and woke up Tom with a seizure. We have since learned that it was a grand mal or tonic clonic seizure, both of which are pretty dumb names. The first translated from the French literally as BIG BAD seizure. Ingenious. She was pretty quiet but jerking around with her eyes rolled up in her head. It lasted between 1 and 2 minutes, depending on how long it took Tom to wake up and it's really hard to tell how much time passes in that state. It just seems to last forever. She finished and rolled over in a deep sleep. The paramedics came and gave a little oxygen trying to revive her because that state after a seizure is really deep and she needed about fifteen minutes or so to start getting some responses out of her.

The paramedics said they could bring her to the ER or we could drive her since she revived alright. We chose to drive her in to the Issaquah Swedish ER and got there around 4:30. She was still groggy, vomiting and saying that her head hurt. The ER was empty and really quick and helpful...in some ways. They did not do much to relieve any anxieties by telling us that she had to be tested for some really big fatal conditions and diseases right away because this was clearly not a febrile seizure (a seizure produced by the body to bring down a fever). Meningitis, massive brain tumors, take your pick.

The lumbar puncture (spinal tap) came first which was not fun. Three nurses had to hold her still pinned forward into a little ball. She was very good. They couldn't believe how little she squirmed or cried. She was certainly sad but she did not fight and scream. Childbirth should be a cinch after this.

Next came the cath and the blood draw. Again, more sadness and the quick realization that she did not like what was going on here.

The CT scan was like heaven after the others, just cold. She had to lay perfectly still to get some pictures of her brain. I stayed in there to help her but she didn't need it. She just had to know that nothing else was going to hurt her and she was good.

So a couple hours later the doctor tells us everything has come back normal. Good news. CT scan picked up a little thing that may just be an ear infection, not really sure. Here are some neurology and epilepsy specialists you need to call. Bad news.

Well, what do we do now? How should we feel? I don't know. Let's hope this is just a one time thing. There could have been a fever we didn't notice had spiked. Just how worried should we be? Are we just waiting around for the next one to happen? I don't know. Lots of questions, no answers, for now.

For Sarah

This video totally cracks us up.

Neverland

We read Peter Pan aloud a long time ago and have been meaning to make maps of our own Neverland Islands for the longest time. We finally got around to it last week. It was a great activity.

Ethan's just looked like a big battle plan complete with ammunition storage, practice areas, testing facilities, and barracks (the archers had their own barracks because they are looked down upon as less courageous than other soldiers). No surprise that he did not understand Emma's island at all when he regarded her various flowery areas designated for fairies, ladybugs, mermaids and the like.

"What will you do if you are attacked?" he demanded. Emma just looked at him like he was nuts.

"I'm not going to be attacked. This is MY island and everyone knows it!"

But this was hardly an adequate plan in the boy's mind. He proceeded in pointing out all the areas of the island which were strategically vulnerable. Finally she had enough of his criticisms and drew one big circle around the entire thing.

"What's that?"

"The Shield of Love" she answered smugly, or in other words "a powerful and permanent electromagnetic energy force field can thwart any offensive attack with negative karmic vibrations that threaten to disturb the general peace and welfare of this island or scare my baby gnomes."

"I also put up these little flags around the island that say, 'GO AWAY (if you're bad)!' just in case." Defenses are a go.

Jacob's island had a giant mushroom house, lethal spitting trees, a jail for unsavory girls, and a roller coaster. I'm not sure I would visit.

Bedtime Stories

It's a lovely cool summer night that came too quickly after a busy day doing too much nothing. It's still light outside Ethan is reading in bed, The Red Pyramid, Emma is reading Pocahontas and Jacob has just finished reading me Mercy Watson and Something Wonky This Way Comes. An excellent toasty ending with a great deal of butter. He decides to retreat to his room for some quality time with the Berenstain Bears. (Mom, is it okay if I just read these two and only look at this one?) Lily decides it's her turn to read to Mom. I kick it and await the tale.

She brings in A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, wiggles into the mass of squashy pillows, opens the book across her lap, clears her throat impressively and begins,

Dis is Pooh. Pooh is honey bear. (mom, does dis say 'bear'?) Dats a balloon. He's all muddy, but dats o'tay. Pooh is stuck in the hole. He ate honey. He got a BID belly, like mine. Den dere's Pidelet. Pidelet is pink. (Emma needs to color dis. Pidelet is not BLAT, Pidelet is PINK.) It's Eee-ore's bir-day. He is sad. (mom, is he sad?) Das a balloon, in pieces. Das why he is sad. Dere is footprints. Pooh had a bad dream about an elephant. (where am I, mom? here? no. I'm all done with Pooh now.)

Sleep tight.

Breaks : part 2

Man, I need a break.

Breaks: part 1

I see and hear a lot about “getting away”, “just needing a break”, or “taking some time off”; and the regular response of “you go, girl, you deserve it!” I must admit I’m a little baffled about such exchanges. Just what they are getting away from? What in the world are they doing that makes them so, as Thoreau would say, desperate? Working in the salt mines? Is the drudgery and toil of life at such a degree that they can’t go say, 2 years, 1 year, a month without a trip to some idle paradise because it’s “been so long since we’ve gone anywhere”? (It’s most edifying that I always seem to hear that the most, from those who get away the most. Interesting.)

I realize this is going to read exceptionally obnoxious and hypercritical even for me. I don’t mean to be so, I just really don’t understand. Is everyone really that unhappy that they need to go on vacation every other weekend? Do people get depressed because they aren’t on vacation (especially when someone else is)? Is that all they look forward to? Is that what life is about, the escape away from it? Is that what should define my life? Is that the definition of success?

I must admit, while I'm on the subject, I’m not sure why they deserve it. Do you know why? I don’t think you deserve it. There, I said it. Go escape? I really don’t care, go enjoy, but I’m certainly not going to slip into the fallacy of telling someone they entitled. What tripe.

The escape, I suppose could be just about anything. It could be physical, emotional, chemical, or simply renamed to appear more ennobling even, dare I say, spiritual.

All of this makes me presume that people are not happy with the day to day work of life. This is what really discourages me. What if we spent more effort learning, disciplining, and training ourselves to love our work and responsibilities, focusing on the importance of it and the dignifying nature of it rather than using that energy seeking escape? Isn’t working for those times when I don’t have any responsibility and can focus on my own creature comforts spending our “labor for that which cannot satisfy”? Does the escape satisfy? Can the natural man be satisfied?

I’m thinking of a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley. Here it is: "The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired."

(snarky comment alert:…hmm, not a 3 day, 2 night stay at the Casa de Equivocado. Hasn’t he tried their dessert bar?)

He also said, “Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.” How do I reconcile work with that blasted participle: enjoyed? Especially during times that ARE arduous, and dreary, and thankless. I’m not sure I have the mental discipline.

under construction

As of today:

• Jacob is bouncing around enjoying his newly repaired core muscles and driving everyone crazy.
• Tom is flat on his back trying not to move any core muscles as of 5 am this morning. Looks like a badly strained SI joint. (Thank you, Sherm, for helping me get him off the floor)
• I made a great deal of tamales this afternoon which all seemed to disappear to my neighbors. We ate pizza for dinner. ? (Thank you, Melissa, who only took 3 tamales.)
• Emma is making big plans for her future. They go something like this, "When I grow up I'm going to have blue car and green house with a statue of a bear in front, and a baby with brown hair... and a husband." Me, "What does your husband look like?" "I haven't decided that yet."
• We are all very concerned about our friend Ben P. who is in ICU with "the worst case of mono they have ever seen or studied."
• Ethan has earned his Bear.
• I just cut off about half of Emma's hair. It filled about 3 1/2 garbage bags.
• We just finished the Thirty Years War. It was exhausting.
• Emma hates subtraction.
• Lily is potty trained. We haven't been without diapers in nine and a half years.
• We are tired of all this rain.
• But we did see a rainbow today. Proof of sun.

under the knife

Jake has had an inguinal hernia since he was pink and pudgy. The time has come to get it repaired. He is scheduled for surgery on Monday next. It is a trivial and speedy operation but his level of anxiety concerning the thing has increased steadily in conjunction with his discomfort. A rather unhappy side effect of his anxiety is oversensitivity and acute hypochondria. He has been afraid of everything from eating poisonous shellfish when he thought it was just harmless popcorn to bugs laying eggs in his mouth to growing boobies like a girl.

I'm beginning to think we should have told him that a trip to Disneyland would fix his hernia...and then put the mask on really fast.

He has however enjoyed using a variety of terms for the surgery on his "Weinerschnitz", "cajones", "cronk", or the "tenders". This terminology gets many laughs from his father which only encourages more creativity and frequency of the euphemisms.

I only hope he will recover from both these undesirable side effects as he heals. Crossing my fingers. I'm getting weary of alternately reassuring him and washing his mouth.

Borrowed Poetry

Earth's crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God:

But only he who sees takes off his shoes.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Thanks, Niki.

Final Exam: Salina, KS, 1895

Final Exam: Salina, KS, 1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)

1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of "lie," "play," and "run."
5. Define case; Illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1:25 hours)

1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4 District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)

1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour)

1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals.
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.'
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final ! 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)

1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3 Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

Total Time: 5 hours

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina, Kansas, USA. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, KS, and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

Four

Chores

The big project of late has been the organization of daily tasks, duties, chores, and various other scheduling around the Andrew abode. I have done cursory research online of cleaning schedules and have found myself in hysterics barely able to read, "Sweep floor-once a week" without breaking down either in unrefined snorts of laughter or dejected sobbing.

Once a week, are you kidding me? Does the word "spelunking" mean anything to you? Well, that's what I would be doing in my kitchen if I swept once a week, after having repelled down my impassable debris-strewn stairwell.

Add school assignments to it all and I just want to lock the door and curl up on my bedroom floor...which I, a-hem, have never done.

I am done now feeling defeated and overwhelmed and am ready to pass all this off to my children.


I have made daily responsibility charts for each of my children. After a family meeting discussing our responsibilities and in order to be more positive we have narrowed these responsibilities we have into four categories.

• Caring for my body.
• Caring for my spirit.
• Caring for my mind.
• Caring for my home and family.

I must say, I'm very happy with this breakdown. There is some overlap, which the children pointed out, and I found that to be very desirable because after all they are all connected. You can't only work in one area and think we're done. Even the smallest tasks fit in at least two categories. But for our intents and purposes these are good. Each category has it's own color on their charts that they check off and complete daily. Caring for home and family includes three daily chores (which I haven't quite knocked out yet).

The goal is really more than chores. The goal is really more than having a clean house (I'm really glad I'm not that delusional). The goal is to raise self-reliant, confident, capable, disciplined children in a self-indulgent, capricious world. I hope I'm not that delusional.

Overheard of Late

Lily: Jesus loves me. pause. so does Yoda.

Jacob (after a thoughtful silence): Mom, don't ever call me "Ja-crud" because I don't like it, (very sad face) and it would hurt my feelings.
Me: Jake, where did you get Ja-crud? Did someone call you that?
Jacob: No, I just made it up and I don't like it.

and oft heard from Lily:

I want to tum!

I want to help you!

(when she can't sleep in Ethan's bed) But I love E-tan!

(when she wants it her way) Mom said YES!
until I corrected her using my name to bully her siblings, "Lily, I didn't say anything."
(now when she wants it her way) Mom said ANYTHING!

(after she sings a song) I did it! I did it! I did it!

Be nice!

Duys! Det in the da van! Time for Di-da-do (Taekwondo)!

(whenever we tell her dad's gone) NOo, Dad's in da office!

not scary.

After later!

Things I Wish I Never Wasted Money On

a crib: Why did I buy a crib when my children prefer to sleep on my face?

Size 4 pants: I mean, honestly, when did I wear these, when I was ten? I don't remember ever wearing the Ghost of Pants Past that now just sit in the closet and mock my badonkadonk every time I walk in. (and why the heck didn't spell-check alert me to "badonkadonk"?)

a toy closet: This is what I should have done. I should have called the playroom "the closet", and contrariwise, called the closet "the playroom" Then all the toys would always end up in the closet. That's logic.

a flushing toilet: For as much as my kids actually manage to flush the toilet, I should have installed chamber pots at a fraction of the cost. (This can also include the light switches. What is the point, really?)

an easel: My lovely easel is gathering dust as my $15 tubes of paint dry up and crack in their shells. Alas!

a magnifying mirror: Oh the horror! I used to think I was a normal looking person. Now I know I am a creviced, pock-marked, stray-haired, blemish-ridden Baba Yaga. Why do I have this thing? No one is walking around looking at my skin at 3x magnification.

A mop: I already had socks.

Little Boy Pants: Boy pants should just be sold with the knees already cut out. A better idea would be little mops sewn to the knees of the Little Boy Pants. I think there's a market for that.

a filing cabinet: Well, I suppose it IS a good place to store credit card bills and receipts from 1998 (the year we bought the filing cabinet).

a lamp: This was just a mistake. I really meant to buy bowling pins to put on the end tables.

oh, I could go on.

Random Primary Song

At church every Sunday I lead about 70 children in singing, for two hours...well, granted with some breaks in between, but it doesn't feel like much. It's really a fabulous time, I love it. It is so much fun and inspiring and completely unpredictable.

This post is a little random just because I revised a little song that we will be singing next month to get ready for General Conference and I wanted to share it with my online fellow chorister community in case they would like to use it. Basically it is "Latter-Day Prophets" from the Children's Songbook, but I changed the lyrics to the current First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve. I think it will be very fun. (But probably just for the older kids.) It goes nicely along with the song for next month, too, which is "Follow the Prophet." If you can use it, please do...

Christmas Closing

Alright, I put the rest of my Christmas junk in my journal. It was getting so boring. I mean not boring for us, but my writing was beginning to read like an Al Gore novel.

I love this crazy bad picture of the kids. Fake smiles, Lily looking off in the wrong direction, and Ethan looks like he's about to fall backwards after too much egg nog. If you zoom in I'm sure you won't miss all the extraneous boogers and drool stains.

Lily enjoyed wrapping presents very much. She called it "making presents" as in, "Doh 'way, guys! Making presents!" She didn't much care what they were so long as she got to tape profusely. She got a hat, a scarf, sunglasses, and a backpack for Christmas. She's looked like this for 4 days:

Jakey wins the prize for the best Christmas quote of the year. A few days before Christmas he blurts out, "I hope my Christmas present isn't a pie with a spring on the bottom that splats in my face when I open it." Too much Looney Toons?

Day 4

Visit the Maple Valley Annual Creche. Listen to my lovely neighbor Jill sing with her sister. Absolutely beautiful. 

Day 3

Go to Bethlehem with the good Seventh Day Adventists in Auburn...HIGHLY recommended!

JOURNEY TO BETHLEHEM

This church has a mini-Jerusalem set up that they take you through to see live animals, shopkeepers, money changers, Roman Soldiers, and Tax Collectors. It is all very well done, without trying to do anything new, or hip, or jazzy. Just a refreshingly simple, old message from people with faith in Jesus Christ.

Day 2

Now we decorate the tree, at last, and sing lots of songs. We love singing together:

Advent Calendar Item: a branch

Scripture: 1 Nephi 11:8-23 Nephi asks for an explanation of that big tree over there and the Spirit of the Lord shows him, Mary her baby. How does that explain the tree?

Song: Lots of songs, mostly Away in a Manger to hear Lily sing "Ah-shleep! Ah-shleep! Ah-shleep! Ah-shleeep!"

Day 1

Advent Calendar Item: An arrow or a rock

Scripture: Helaman 13:2-4, 14:2-8, 16:1-8 Samuel the Lamanite prophesies of Baby Jesus, tells the Zarahemlians where it's at, dodges arrows, and disappears. (The idea here is to check in with the Book of Mormon throughout the month to see what happens during those five years and emphasize that length of time. Hopefully it will make the peril and faith of the righteous more poignant by the time the sign comes at the end of the month/five years.)

Song: Samuel Tells of Baby Jesus

*Note: OK these posts are for my records as I am developing our daily scripture study this month. If you have additional ideas, I'd appreciate them.

T -1 Day

Hang our Giving Trees

1 Cut out construction paper trees.
2 Commence doing good deeds, speaking kindly, and helping more to earn stickers. (stickers are worth $$)
3 Start getting all giddy and excited about what you are going to give your sister/brother for Christmas.

...this does cut into the "Have Christmas shopping all done by Thanksgiving" goal, but so worth it.

Giving Thanks for

Tom Ethan Emma Jake Lily
freedom warmth Savior love
Beethoven testimony water prayer
holidays diapers laughter
trees violins church friends Sargent
inspiration agency school scripture
Bloch pillows challenges work country
music clay marriage books food temples oranges gardens
shoes refrigerators rain forgiveness
literature ovens silliness humility income responsibilty
meditation tithing glass service
repentance sun Michelangelo
change soldiers history earth virtue
sacrifice Austen radios Caravaggio insight ordinances family
creation breakfast teachers stores beds
plumbing blessings reverence sensitivity prophets
warmth reminders quiet noise Dickens vision sports
health Gutenberg bodies Lincoln adversity kisses humor
cleanliness Rainier hugs furnaces roofs paint
movies babies plastic talent rainbows passion
computers flowers life surprises virtue medicine
Davinci commitment atonement fog truth legs
peace hope smiles arias Christmas
trials Washington greetings education empathy comfort
choices thunder cotton children worship home
examples internet giving phones purity priesthood
sunshine gratitude faith

Spotlight

So our family was spotlighted in our church newletter. I had to write a summary of the Andrews and got a pretty overwhelming response. What do you think?


Tom is the Dad part of the family. He grew up in Normal, yes, Normal, IL. At BYU he received a Construction Management degree, a stunning, intelligent, and talented wife, 2.3 kids, and a run down old Toyota. After graduation he packed all these things into the Toyota and drove down to Arizona to work for a large residential roofer. After enduring his lovely wife’s grumblings and snide commentary about the heat for three years, he packed them all (3.6 kids now) back up into the Toyota and drove here to Maple Valley. He is now an independent slimy salesman. He peddles various roofing materials to contractors, mainly the foul-mouthed variety. He works with the Young Men in the ward, generally not the foul-mouthed variety.

Laura is not actually writing this but hired a ghost writer which explains why she talks about herself in the third person. She grew up in Alexandria, VA and studied Fine Arts at BYU. Her activities include folding laundry, making unrealistic plans, losing vacuum cleaner attachments and wiping things. She also enjoys other things but can’t remember what they are since having her fourth child. She cleans, bakes, sews, and homeschools, but she doesn’t actually enjoy these things. Laura is the Chorister in Primary but thinks that it should have a snazzier, more descriptive name for what this marvelous calling actually entails.

Ethan just turned nine. He is very bright and thoughtful. He enjoys Math, History, Taekwondo, and practicing his Taekwondo on his unsuspecting brother. When he misbehaves his parents threaten to send him to public school which must be something akin to the Tower of London in his mind by now. When he was a baby he looked exactly like Dallin H. Oaks.

Emma is seven. She is emotionally unstable. She enjoys writing sweet little love notes, drawing princesses, and keeping her baby sister awake ‘til all hours of the night. She does not enjoy losing board games. When she was a baby she looked like Jeffrey R. Holland.

Jake is five. He enjoys irritating his older brother and sister, telling knock-knock jokes (preferably the same one multiple times), falling from high places, and instigating giggles at wholly inappropriate times. He also enjoys wasting inordinate amounts of scotch tape. If he were an ice cream flavor it would be Moose Tracks.

Lily is two and gets away with a lot of tomfoolery based solely on her cuteness factor which is abnormally high. She enjoys riding in shopping carts, singing unintelligibly, causing scenes in public places, and pulling out entire boxes of tissues one at a time. She regularly pilfers handfuls of chocolate chips, but don’t hold it against her.

We love visitors so feel free to stop by and visit anytime. I warn you, I still haven’t found that vacuum cleaner attachment so for heaven’s sake, leave your shoes on.

Conference Report #2

October 2009, Saturday PM Session

1:00: Arrive at the Stake Center. Sit in same place. I've noticed we've been given a much wider berth by the repeat attendees this session. I also notice that the volume has been turned up. I wonder if it's because of us.

1:10: Lily shows me her "bid geen booder!"

1:15-1:59: Bathroom Breaks #3-#76

2:00: Rest Hymn

2:09: Lose Lily

2:13: Catch a whiff of a stinky diaper. Verify no one else floated one. Follow the scent. Find Lily.

2:14-2:47: Bathroom Breaks #75-136

2:48: Dad falls asleep

2:53: Dad wakes up

3:00: Leave the building...after another quick trip to the bathroom.

Conference Report

October 2009, Saturday AM session

9:00: Arrive to lots of furtive glances and groans amongst the otherwise reverent congregation. President Eyring is already welcoming, I thought we were early. ??

9:06: Lily burps after the prayer.

9:10: "I'm hungry, Mommy." "I'm thirsty, Mommy" "Mom, I'm hungry,too" "You just ate 14 minutes ago, you can't possibly be hungry!"

9:26: Much shuffling of paper and arguing over who gets the red colored pencil.

9:27: Dad gets irritated

9:42: Bathroom Break #1

10:00: Lily runs up and down the pew waving her arms like some kind of head hunter in pursuit. Piercing shriek.

10:06: Explain to Emma the concept of a whisper.

10:08: Bathroom break #2

10:09: Why do I do this?

10:14: Send the kids away on a walk around the building.

10:23: Elder Bednar explains why I do this.

10:26: See our old friend Ryan Murphy conducting the choir. Very cool.

10:36: Insist that this is the last talk.

10:46: Begin clean up regimen.

10:52: Make Ethan listen to the closing song so he can write a report on it when we get home.

11:01: Commence running around the chapel until I hiss threats of bodily harm.

11:03: Chat with the missionaries.

11:10: Exit the building

Family Reunion 2010

I'm going on record right now that all the Andrews should travel to WASHINGTON for a reunion. I mean come on people, look at this place!

Things I will miss in a few years

fingerprints on mirrors
a little hand slipping into mine
"YOU AR MY FREND" scrawled on a crumpled piece of paper
kid empathy
obviously rerolled toilet paper rolls
"MOM! MOM! MOM!"
being the first
waking up with a leg on my face
outstretched pudgy arms
toddler injustice
the dawn of understanding
legos
watching daddy soothe her feverish head
reading by flashlight
scotch-taped wall decor
unexpected hilarity
forts
stifled laughter and shushing at bedtime
tears when I go
being absolutely needed and loved

Summer's Swan Song

I got about this much done this summer.

Emma, age 7

Happy Birthday, Miss M

For Julie

Bedtime

A little Junie B

musical beds

a little too much studying

and one man's opinion of bedtime

Oddity

I am an oddity.
That's a good line of poetry, don't you think? My own peculiarities have been in the limelight of my mind lately and I can not help but think I am a little too different for normal society!
Here are some ways I am odd:

• I bake my own bread.
• I grind my own wheat to make my own bread.
• I don't grow my own wheat to grind and make my own bread which may be the only thing that separates me from the Little Red Hen...I also am pestering other people all day long to help me out.
  
• I sacrifice sleep to read. Even a bad book.
  
• I am a little weird about Harry Potter. The series, not the boy.
• I homeschool. Nuff said!
• I'm so not dope wit slang.
  
• I believe in liberty. Freedom to succeed and the freedom to fail.
• We have no network TV.
• I keep a budget of roughly $4 a month.
• I make my 5 year old fold laundry.
• I hate shopping for shoes.
• I am a Mormon and therefore believe in ancient scripture, living prophets, and modern revelation, even on a personal level.
• I love teaching 80 rambunctious, antsy, undisciplined kids to sing songs about Jesus Christ, eternal families, love, gratitude, and prayer every Sunday even though it is exhausting or annoying at times.
• I'm not so good socially, in general.
• The beauty of trees, mountains, oceans, fog, and dappled sunshine is like ambrosia to my soul. It cures me because it fills me with gratitude.
• I love a good intellectual spar, but never emotional ones.
  
• I was once pretty fluent in Hebrew and actually got paid for it for a short time.
• This ethnicity I am most often mistaken for: Japanese, then Mexican, then Hawaiian.
• I can't stand thin skins. I'd rather offend than tiptoe...within reason, of course.
  
• I'm not into Girl's Night Out.
  
• I really like Math.
  
• I used to create pretty pictures. Right now, I am creating souls. I can't seem to do both simultaneously.
• I really don't care how you pronounce my name.
  
• I kissed him first.

How are you odd?

...because of the Half Blood Prince release

Just in case you really weren't sure what a geek I am, here are some notes I jotted down a while ago pertaining to the seven tasks the Trio faced when they first went through the trapdoor in Book 1: Sorcerer's Stone. Each of the tasks or challenges they encounter parallel the plot or theme of each of the seven books. I thought you might find it interesting like I did or perhaps you are a normal person and will find it very dull:

Task 1=Fluffy & Book 1=QuirrellMort
The first task the Trio, HRH, faced after deciding to enter the magical "Underworld" was Fluffy the three headed dog. Fluffy has three heads, Harry's foe in Book 1 is Quirrell who we discover also has multiple faces.
Distraction was a major defense in both. Playing music distracted Fluffy = Talking distracted Quirell "All Harry could think of was to keep Quirrell talking and stop him from concentrating on the Mirror,"

Task 2 = Devil’s Snare & Book 2 =Tom Riddle’s Diary & The Basilisk
The Devil's Snare has "snake-like tendrils" = The Basilisk is, well, a giant snake
The Devil’s Snare likes "the dark and the damp" =the Basilisk’s Chamber is “dark”, “slimy”, and “wet”
Fire defeats the Devil’s Snare = Fawkes, a phoenix, thus, a fire creature blinds the Basilisk. It is Gryffindor's Sword which kills the Basilisk. (The four houses at Hogwarts each represent one of the Four Elements: Ravenclaw/Air, Hufflepuff/Earth, Slytherin/Water, and Gryffindor/Fire)
Both the Devil’s Snare and Riddle’s Diary seem to be an aid and a comfort at first. The Devil's Snare helped to break the fall from the trapdoor and Ron exclaims, “Lucky this plant thing’s here, really”. The diary lured Ginny in by being her comfort and confidante, and also lured Harry in when it showed him who first opened the Chamber.
...I didn't think of this before but Book 2 actually begins with Ron and Harry falling from above into another lethal plant, the Whomping Willow.

Task 3=Flying Key Chamber & Book 3=Peter Pettigrew & Sirius Black
Flying, flying, flying. Flying is just an everpresent element in this book, three Quidditch matches, three flights on Buckbeak, the new Firebolt, and Sirius’ final escape by flight.
HRH think the keys are birds at first = Scabbers is thought to be a rat
HRH are cautious and fear an attack from the bird-keys which never comes, they are never in any real danger in this task = They fear an attack from Sirius Black throughout the entire book. By the end we know that there was never any real danger.
Hermione uses Alohomora on the door = She uses Alohomora on Flitwick's window
Ron gets injured chasing the key (crash into ceiling) = he gets injured chasing Scabbers (broken leg).
The key is made of silver = Pettigrew is the key they need to get to the truth, eventually Pettigrew gets a silver hand .
They need to get the key to move on = Pettigrew is the key to finding out more of Harry’s past and allows him to move on through his quest.
The key was caught twice, first by Quirrell in which it was injured (broken wing) then by the trio after which it escaped again after it unlocked the door = Pettigrew was caught twice, first by Sirius after Godric's Hollow, in which he was injured (missing finger), and then by the trio and escaped just after the Trio and Lupin used him to unlock the truth.

Task 4=Chess & Book 4=The TriWizard Tournament
This one is pretty straightforward..
Chess tournament = Triwizard Tournament
The trio are 3 of the chessmen = TRIwizard Tournament
Ron is the1^st casualty of the night during this task when the Queen clobbers him = At the end of the Tournament Cedric Diggory dies, the 1^st significant Death of the series.
(There is MUCH more to Book 4, it being the heart of the series. I think each of the Triwizard Tasks parallel each of Harry’s face to face confrontations with Voldemort in the same way that these tasks parallel each of the books…another time, there is some BRILLIANT stuff in Book 7. It's almost like a maze...)

Task 5 = troll & Book 5 = Umbridge/MOM and the Death Eaters
The troll was already knocked out, right? Well, actually, the trio had already performed this task back on Halloween in the bathroom, right? So we’ll jump back to look at that battle.
The whole of Book 5 is the battling of “trolls”, meaning, adversaries who were much larger and more formidable than they, namely Umbridge and the whole MoM, and the Death Eaters. oh, I guess you could throw the dementors from the beginning into that mix, too.
When battling the troll, Harry tells Ron to "Confuse it!" = When battling the Death Eaters, he tells the others to "Smash shelves" in order to confuse the Death Eaters...this ones a bit weak, I'll admit but valid.
Ron uses Wingardium Leviosa on the troll's club = Harry uses Wingardium Leviosa on the brains, these are the only times this spell is used, I think.
Hermione lies to McGonagall = Hermione lies to Umbridge (the only two occurrences when Hermione lies deliberately to a teacher)

Task 6 = Potions Riddle & Book 6= Identifying Potions and People
Drinking, drinking, drinking. There is lots of drinking in Book 6. Man, I love this book.
This task was of Snape’s making = Snape is the Half Blood Prince, obviously. This is the book in which, by the end, it all revolves around Snape and who he is. It is his book.
This task is made up of different POTIONS Harry and Hermione need to IDENTIFY in order to move along in their quest.
Potions plays a major part in this book, the new Professor, the Potions book and it's previous owner, as well as all the potions taken in this book, Felix Felicis, Poison, Polyjuice, and of course the Potion from the cave.
This task is a task of identification. What is the big question of Book 6? Who is the Half Blood Prince? Who is Severus Snape? Along with other identification questions, Who is Slughorn? Who is the attacker? Who is Draco Malfoy? And the other HUGE identification theme of the entire book: Who is Tom Riddle? I guess you counld throw in the who-do-they-love? questions, too.
Come to think of it that is the first thing Slughorn asks his class to do, identify different potions. cool.
This task is a task of logic. This is what I loved about this book. So many readers finished this book all upset and emotional and hating Snape, yet, if you look at everything logically, LIKE Snape, Snape is obviously on the right side.
Hermione goes back = Dumbledore “steps back” to allow Harry to move forward alone, because we all know he had to be alone.

P.S. I don’t know about the potions. There were 7, so they could represent DADA teachers (Poison/Quirrell, Wine/Lockhart, Forward/Lupin, Poison/Crouch(Moody), Poison/Umbridge, Wine/Slughorn, Back/the Carrows) or they could be instances of drinking in Book 6, or I don’t know, I’m not really convinced, yet, either way.