Why?
It's my favorite question.
Why don't people ask it more?
'Cause lemme just say, I'm asking it for you.
(snicker)
Why? is probably the most helpful question I ask as I raise my family: Why are we doing this or that? Is there really a good reason for it? And if I can't come up with a good answer, then, guess what? I'm not going to bother. (And not just in parenting either.) There are so many things of which I know the WHYs that I don't have time for the:
I DON'T KNOWs
or the
I'M NOT SUREs
or the
THAT'S WHAT GOOD PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO DOs
or the
IT'S WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS DONEs
or the
IT'S WHAT I'VE NEVER GOTTEN TO DOs
Those aren't real answers. I know there are a lot of WHAT? kind of people, ie, those who just need to know what they should do and they do it. Fine. I'm just a WHY? kind of person. Quoting Jeffrey R. Holland quoting an unnamed philosopher:
"Tell me sufficiently why a thing should be done, and I will move heaven and earth to do it."
For example: (This is a limited trivial example but it will do,
and it could have very untrivial ramifications.) I have enrolled none of my children in soccer. In spite of the fact that it is what everyone does. Some go to great lengths to provide it, in spite of even constraints of time and money. That's what good moms do. It teaches team spirit, cooperation, hard work, respect, physical exercise, endurance, self-control, good sportsmanship and how to kick a ball. It is, to some, the very definition of good parenting. How can I possibly deprive my children of this essential life experience? This is not about soccer. It's about choices.
WHY?
What is the goal?
Really.
Are there better ways to accomplish those goals?
Have I really considered them?
Am I brave enough to attempt the better way?
These are tough questions. But when I can answer the WHY?, when my everyday thoughts and actions help me reach the things I really want, I feel greater meaning and purpose in life, even with, or sometimes in spite of, the trifling things. And hence, no matter the circumstances I can naturally live with:
more
INTEGRITY
more
PASSION
more
LOVE
more
ENERGY
more
GRATITUDE
more
JOY
EVERYDAY!
I can do with more of that.
2 comments:
Mmmmmmmmmm I feel like I just swallowed a piece of your apple pie. Delicious! Beautifully written, my 'non-writer' proclaimed GF.
Professed YOUR essense perfectly.
I want another bite!
It's amazing all the things we do just "because." The trick is that the "why" answer will totally work for one family and not for another. I think that's the real challenge of parenting. Learning to make decisions that work for you and your kids without worrying about or judging what everyone else is doing. It takes a lot of thought - and guts. Thanks for sharing. I love it when you post!!
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