Sacrament Talk: Teaching in the Home

Be warned: I didn't proof this all too carefully...and it's long, I know, it's for specific people who actually want it.


The Challenge

• The world in which our students choose spiritual life or death is changing rapidly. When their older brothers and sisters return to visit the same schools and campuses they attended, they find a radically different moral climate. The language in the hallways and the locker rooms has coarsened. Clothing is less modest. Pornography has moved into the open. Tolerance for wickedness has not only increased, but much of what was called wrong is no longer condemned at all and may, even by our students, be admired. Parents and administrators have in many cases bent to the pressures coming from a shifting world to retreat from moral standards once widely accepted. The spiritual strength sufficient for our youth to stand firm just a few years ago will soon not be enough. Many of them are remarkable in their spiritual maturity and in their faith. But even the best of them are sorely tested. And the testing will become more severe. ("We Must Raise Our Sights," CES Address, August 14, 2001)
• Our children are being born into a world they live in extraordinary physical comfort. Their struggle is a spiritual battle. The challenges they face include more than only the more visible wickedness like immodesty, or coarse language. They “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). 
• Society has made an attempt to eradicate morality from education. In short, this is impossible. Without morality, we take out the very part our unique brains that makes it possible for us to be educated. Without morality education becomes only about materialism. How to get money, how to distribute money, and how money is the panacea to all of society's ills.
• To paraphrase Plato: The practical life falls short of completeness. The wealth one acquires in business is a useful thing, but as such, it exists for the sake of something else." (Hicks) The classically educated student  [Latter Day Saints] aims for more than a life of comfort; she aims for a "life that knows and reveres, speculates and acts upon the Good, that loves and re-produces the Beautiful, and that pursues excellence and moderation in all things." (Wise 602)
• in other words, seeking after the virtuous, lovely, praiseworthy...
• “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God” (John 7:17). 
• Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception. - Bednar
• If such learning is not happening at home children will have a hard time recognizing the good and beautiful from the many deceptions. They "will begin to doubt the soundness of their own judgments... They are more susceptible to immediate gratification, [emotional manipulation], rhetorical flourishes and simplistic solutions in order to understand the which course of action is right and which is wrong." (Hicks) And if they cannot tell the good from the evil, they will relinquish their precious agency and leave the decision making to, personally, the people around them or emotional whims, and publicly to a few authoritative experts.
• In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of agency—the capacity and power of independent action. Endowed with agency, we are agents, and we primarily are to act and not only to be acted upon— ...The Savior preserved moral agency through the Atonement and made it possible for us to act and to learn by faith. Lucifer’s rebellion against the plan sought to destroy the agency of man, and his intent was that we as learners would only be acted upon. (Bednar)

Our Goal

• In a world like this, we have a lot of work to do at home with our families. The sheer weight of the import of it all makes it all sound rather impossible.
• I know I don't have to reiterate that. I look around at all my friends, people in this ward who are wonderful, careful, loving parents, people I try to emulate and the big question I've had in my mind over the past few days is, "What is the adversary doing to prevent me and you from arming our children with what they need to fight this battle?" Elder Bednar asks us, "Are you and I encouraging and helping those we serve to seek learning by faith? We are all to be anxiously engaged in asking, seeking, and knocking ...Are we as parents ...consistently helping [our children] to act, to learn for themselves, and to stand steadfast and immovable? Are we helping our children become anxiously engaged in asking, seeking, and knocking? (3 Nephi 14:7)
• The two things that readily came to my mind were fear and distraction.

Our Weakness

• The adversary wants us to feel inadequate, incapable, and helpless to help ourselves. When we have a bad day, or a few of them, we begin to doubt our ability to do a good job at raising a perfect family. When we are feeling particularly bad about the disastrous state of our day it is very easy to look around and perfect parents and children around us.
• Just look at what everyone around us is doing. Our children should be: 
• model students, always cheerful and funny, able to handle chores independently around the house, develop good friendships with the best kids, a peacemaker amongst their brothers and sisters, respectful to adults, always get up on time for scripture study with a smile on their face, be the high scorer in every sport, master at least one musical instrument, write poetry, and this is all before the 2nd grade.
• The point is, We paralyze ourselves with comparison and competition.
• Elder Ballard said,  There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. ...What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.
• Perfection is not a requirement for parenthood. We are all amateurs, and I mean that in the best possible sense. What would happen if we turned our sacred stewardship over to the "professionals"?
• If there is one thing I would tell all parents I know, it would be. Trust in the Lord, trust in yourself trusting the Lord. We need not fear.
• We worry that we aren't doing what other parents are doing and we feel bad. Sometimes I think we even worry about doing things better than other parents and making them feel bad! Trust in your own inspiration to guide your unique family. We do not have to do what other parents are doing, even if it's wonderful. We don't even have to do what our own parent's did. 
• Sister Beck: Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all.

The Solution

• I like the idea of daily bread. Consistent effort in seemingly small daily steps. DAILY bread, not an occasional feast. Like the Israelites in the wilderness receiving manna for the day, we can gather physical and spiritual strength on a daily basis.
• prayer
• scripture study...talk about it
• Live the gospel and testify of it daily
• Follow the spirit, not emotional drama
• take time, listen when they are talking and teach in the moment. The most effective teaching does not come in overly programmed, outlined lessons.
• encourage a love of learning and curiosity and create an atmosphere conducive to that in your home, a reverent home. 
• Teach your children that learning is a life long process - not a product, certificate or degree.
• We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility. We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform...As we strengthen families, we will strengthen the entire Church. -First Presidency Letter 1999

References:

Hicks, David V. Norms and Nobility: A Treatise on Education. University Press of America, 1999.

Wise, Jessie. "Some People Hate Homer." The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home.

Bauer, Susan Wise. "A Neutral Education?" http://www.welltrainedmind.com/a-neutral-education/

Henry B Eyring, "We Must Raise Our Sights," CES Address, August 14, 2001

M. Russell Ballard, "Daughters of God", April 2008 General Conference

Julie B Beck, "Mothers Who Know", October 2007 General Conference

David A Bednar, "Watching with All Perseverance", April 2010 General Conference