I see and hear a lot about “getting away”, “just needing a break”, or “taking some time off”; and the regular response of “you go, girl, you deserve it!” I must admit I’m a little baffled about such exchanges. Just what they are getting away from? What in the world are they doing that makes them so, as Thoreau would say, desperate? Working in the salt mines? Is the drudgery and toil of life at such a degree that they can’t go say, 2 years, 1 year, a month without a trip to some idle paradise because it’s “been so long since we’ve gone anywhere”? (It’s most edifying that I always seem to hear that the most, from those who get away the most. Interesting.)
I realize this is going to read exceptionally obnoxious and hypercritical even for me. I don’t mean to be so, I just really don’t understand. Is everyone really that unhappy that they need to go on vacation every other weekend? Do people get depressed because they aren’t on vacation (especially when someone else is)? Is that all they look forward to? Is that what life is about, the escape away from it? Is that what should define my life? Is that the definition of success?
I must admit, while I'm on the subject, I’m not sure why they deserve it. Do you know why? I don’t think you deserve it. There, I said it. Go escape? I really don’t care, go enjoy, but I’m certainly not going to slip into the fallacy of telling someone they entitled. What tripe.
The escape, I suppose could be just about anything. It could be physical, emotional, chemical, or simply renamed to appear more ennobling even, dare I say, spiritual.
All of this makes me presume that people are not happy with the day to day work of life. This is what really discourages me. What if we spent more effort learning, disciplining, and training ourselves to love our work and responsibilities, focusing on the importance of it and the dignifying nature of it rather than using that energy seeking escape? Isn’t working for those times when I don’t have any responsibility and can focus on my own creature comforts spending our “labor for that which cannot satisfy”? Does the escape satisfy? Can the natural man be satisfied?
I’m thinking of a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley. Here it is: "The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired."
(snarky comment alert:…hmm, not a 3 day, 2 night stay at the Casa de Equivocado. Hasn’t he tried their dessert bar?)
He also said, “Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.” How do I reconcile work with that blasted participle: enjoyed? Especially during times that ARE arduous, and dreary, and thankless. I’m not sure I have the mental discipline.
under construction
8 comments:
I like this. I couldn't believe how many comments I got when I was pregnant with the twins about how insane I was that I wasn't hiring help. Yes, it is a LOT of work at my house right now taking care of these kids, but when did hard work become synonymous (sorry I can't spell) with misery?
I can't say that commercials for the sandals resorts aren't attractive though. I probably will try to "get away" some time after this next baby is old and weaned...not because I'm unhappy. I think of it like when we were in school. Doesn't everybody get spring break? It's good for the mind to have a rest once in awhile, as long as that rest period is the sole purpose of our daily work and existance.
Honestly though, I really am looking forward to family vacations more than a couple getaway. I love my babies, but adventures with older kids are something to look forward to.
oops, I meant to type "is NOT" the sole purpose of our daily work and existance.
Big difference. lol.
I agree with you. I am really having a hard time with people spending beyond their limit because they must be entertained, they must have the expensive hair cut/color, they must have name brand this, they must have that. It really surprises me that they believe this will make them happy. Following Dave Ramsey's life, we changes our priorities and we need to be very careful with how we live now so later we can live debt free and I don't mean credit card debt, we don't have that. I mean own our house, no student loans etc. It baffles me that our society got into a pattern that we pay interest to borrow money instead of trying to pay cash. If it means you don't get to eat in restaurants or have pedicures, then find free happiness and living debt free is happier. I happen to think sandy hot vacations are a pain in the butt, so we vacation different than others. We like to see America, like the Grand Canyon and not just see it, be healthy and hike it. We want to climb Adams and Rainier, those will be our 'vacations' next year. I agree with you, I see many people thinking that glass of wine at night will calm their nerves, that next Hawaiian vacation will make life tolerable again, those new jeans will validate them in life. Great post.
Very good post. I enjoy your thoughts. I've a personality that likes to keep my kids close at all times. That said, I have learned to accept service from others' offers to watch my kids. I think my kids enjoy these breaks even more than I do and I even have come to believe it's good for them sometimes. Now to teeter-totter to the other side again, I have a friend who is trying her best to get us to go on a couple cruise when "the kids are old enough". I don't laugh in front of her, but I think to myself, when are they old enough? Probably when they no longer live with me. :) Now I'll flip again - this friend regularly takes such breaks from life and she is also one of the most service-oriented people I know. Sometimes I think the two can mix.
Oh man...and I JUST booked an expensive vacation for all of us! :) Just teasing...you know we don't ever go places and spend moolah. :) I always love your BRUTAL honesty and wit Laura.
I'm mixed on this one. I think the point of having to get away from the life we live does indicate that the daily flow of things is unbearable or somehow to be endured at great personal expense. But there is something renewing about having a change and experiencing new things and even being away from the continual call of the laundry and dishes. It is balance. Finding joy in the relationships and work everyday, yet letting ourselves take a break from that now and then to rest and revitalize. But yeah, I think taking the family along, no matter how 'hard', is part of the joy. How can you truly enjoy the new exciting experiences if you can't share them with those you love the most.
I've been thinking about the same sorts of things and kicking myself for wishing for what I don't have. I think that's the WHOLE problem with the "break" mentality. It's that whatever we've got isn't enough, that we need more or different or somewhere else.
I have a great tendency to want a break in the day, to be able to escape from the incredible burden of keeping Carver out of trouble. And then I realize that I'm wasting energy that could be spent just doing things with him instead of trying to get him to play alone so I can do something else. Even in our daily lives, trying to do "something else" instead of the great work of being with our kids can be a problem.
AND I think this dang computer is mixed up in that, too. It gives the illusion of being somewhere else and pulls us from the "here" we need to attend to.
On the other hand, Derek and I have gained a lot from our new efforts to have a getaway (1 night, somewhere close and relatively cheap). Courtship in marriage is defined by getting away, by stepping back from daily routine and recharging as a couple. Is there a line that can be crossed when we're too focused on that couple time? Sure.
I love this post. Great food for thought, Laura.
Just stopped in to say hi! Your kids call me all the time telling me they keep praying you'll go on a trip or send them out here. I think they're sick of you...or you just all need to come out east.
Post a Comment