Jake has had an inguinal hernia since he was pink and pudgy. The time has come to get it repaired. He is scheduled for surgery on Monday next. It is a trivial and speedy operation but his level of anxiety concerning the thing has increased steadily in conjunction with his discomfort. A rather unhappy side effect of his anxiety is oversensitivity and acute hypochondria. He has been afraid of everything from eating poisonous shellfish when he thought it was just harmless popcorn to bugs laying eggs in his mouth to growing boobies like a girl.I'm beginning to think we should have told him that a trip to Disneyland would fix his hernia...and then put the mask on really fast.
He has however enjoyed using a variety of terms for the surgery on his "Weinerschnitz", "cajones", "cronk", or the "tenders". This terminology gets many laughs from his father which only encourages more creativity and frequency of the euphemisms.
I only hope he will recover from both these undesirable side effects as he heals. Crossing my fingers. I'm getting weary of alternately reassuring him and washing his mouth.
4 comments:
Never been a fan of "man boobs" myself. Smart boy. I hope his cajones fair well. Ty had a similar surgery and it's just nice when it's finally over! Good luck!
Hope the procedure goes well for him and his tenders!
the surgery is no big deal - at least, it wouldn't be for a girl. forget about GROWING man boobs, rich actually turned INTO a man boob after his hernia surgery. meaning he required such a high level of post- surgery nursing (no pun intended) by me, that after 24 hours i just couldn't stop my eyeballs from rolling around in their sockets in disbelief. maybe a smaller man will be a smaller man boob. either way, good luck.
and "tenders" are the preferred term at our house by the way. thanks to jack black's kung fu panda performance. it could be worse is all i have to say.
Laura, you have a gift. I'm still laughing about this one. Have Tom share the rest of the terms.
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